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Tropic Thunder sucks ass, Slumdog Millionaire kicks ass

Posted in Misc on 22.02.2009.

I may not be the most qualified person to write about movies, but when I see a good one I tend to recognise it as such. I can also recognise a turd without tasting it.

OK, here's the story. Two days ago, I went to see the Slumdog Millionaire. The thing is, the last thing I saw in theatre before SM was Tropic Thunder.

Tropic Thunder in a nut and shell

Here is a brief rundown. Tropic Thunder is the biggest load of shit I have ever seen in my life. Period. I you want to see something funny, funny as in comedy, skip Tropic Thunder. It is extremely NOT funny. In fact, it is so unfunny I'd like to kick Ben Stiller up the arse. With an RPG. Repeatedly.

But, let me describe TT in a few steps:

  • The movie begins.
  • A funny scene.
  • Profanity.
  • The movie ends.

Seriously. The movie begins with a somewhat funny scene (but not really funny at all because I can't even remember what it was), people start swearing and...it goes on for a while...until the end. Not a single funny scene in the entire movie. And the amazing thing is, I was not the only one with that opinion. Nobody in the entire theatre laughed. How messed up is that?

Yeah, very messed up. I have a question for you: When did it become OK to shoot comedies that don't make you laugh??

Message(s) to Ben Stiller

Dear Ben Stiller,

until you learn how to make proper movies, with real story, sentences with non-offensive language, or oh...I don't know.. FUNNY CHARACTERS perhaps.. FECK OFF. You can only thank God I'm not The Tsar at the moment, because you'd be serving time in Siberia. Hard work builds character. Since you have a serious lack of it, you'd have to work really hard.

Yours truly, dr. Hannibal Lecter

Wait, let me rephrase that.

Dear Ben Stiller,

YOU SUCK. YOUR MOVIE SUCKS. FECK OFF.

Cordially, dr. Hannibal Lecter

Slumdog Millionaire

When I went to see this, I was expecting a typical Hollywood mega-bull-crap. I was thoroughly surprised. Everything about this movie is right. Actors are amazing, music is unbelievable, story is impressive, and overall impression is - my money for the ticket is well spent.

The only thing I can criticize in SM is the fact that it's portrayal of India is a bit tricky, to say the least. It's mostly happening in the slums, and we all know India is not only about slums. India is a country with very rich and diverse culture, so it's a shame only slums were displayed. Well, for the most part. Since a big part of the story happens in the slums, I guess we can justify that.

Slumdog Millionaire is a work of art. A movie you will remember. Go see it. I don't want to tell you anything about it, because it will only spoil the event. Do go around the internets and read about the movie. You'll regret it.

Now go rate Tropic Thunder with no stars and give it a bad review. Rate it with 10 cabbages. Or turds. That's your duty as a sane human being.

Don't forget: if you disagree with me, you suck. Bugger off.

Article comments — View · Add


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Mike :: 22.02.2009 22:39:47
You just inspired me to go give Tropic Thunder a perfect rating to make up for this bull review and the slight amount of damage it might cause.
Abba Bryant :: 23.02.2009 16:23:03
And since you just fluffed up score *somewhere* for this drivel ( Tropic Thunder ) I just had all 6 people in the office here who saw and hated it vote it to 0 on Netflix, Rotten Tomatoes and give it an F on yahoo movies.

I wouldn't have normally been arsed to do so, but the idiot above me who decided he had to undo some of your glorious work inspired me.
lecterror :: 23.02.2009 16:41:35
You know, initially I wanted to post a comment questioning Mike's sexual orientation, but in the end I gave up. I thought that might hurt too much. If Mike wants to rate TT positively all I have to say is "You go girl!".

Seriously now, thanks for supporting the common sense(TM). It's about damn time people stop mixing "farts" with "arts".